Heavy barely begins to feel the way my heart aches. The burdens of life have buried it under
heaps of confusion and chaos. Moments of
clarity occasionally peak through just long enough to be identified before
darting back behind the curtains and into the lingering crowds. Poignant task lists are formulated with
confidence and purpose just to be torn to shreds at the first attempt at
carry-through. The word ‘defeat’ dances
in the flames of it all, toying with the senses and teasing the intention. There are times when it all just feels like a
runaway train. There are times when it
feels as though any goal is too far from reach.
There are times when I truly question my grip on reality or if everyone
struggles to keep from drowning as I do.
I hate this wall. I violently
hate this consuming emotion that leaves me wanting to shed tears that refuse to
fall. My angst for my crippled emotional
capacity grows at an exponential rate. It
is all so fleeting. I know none of this
will last, yet it seems to have such a choke-hold on my soul when it moves
in. I know it will leave, but I cannot
seem to shake it on my own; I am prisoner to it until it decides to lay down
quiet and await that perfect moment to take me down again. Until it vacates, all I can do is await the
return of peaceful thoughts and determined perseverance. I know it’s all still there, it’s just being
held ransom while this bullshit stays screaming in my face void of words. What I would give to learn to cry…
No comments:
Post a Comment