at times, i feel i need to muster up whatever strength and tricks i have still buried so that i may step back into the role of super hero. a jolting shift starts the roller coaster which only seems to gain momentum. there doesn't seem to be any slowing and there is no stop in sight. something needs to give before the tracks can no longer hold the car. how i hang on, i don't know. yet everyone seems to cling to me to save them. and just when i feel as though i may be able to get every one thru the whole ordeal safely, reminders jump up and take turns punching me in the face until i'm bruised and bloody. insomnia has come into swing. joints are swelling; pinching nerves. muscles are cramping and spasming. brain seems to be functioning less and less; trying like hell to shut down. i want to give up, to run away, to admit defeat. i want to cry and vent it all out, but that just won't come. despite the weight and pressure of it all, what i want the most is simply to be able to sleep.
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